Stop “shoulding” all over yourself!

What a fun experience! I was invited to speak at the National League of Young Men’s mom’s night on the topic of health and wellness. The screenshot above is my practice video for sharing my slideshow.

First of all, I’m always humbled when an opportunity like this presents itself because I am certainly not a trained speaker, but any chance I get to make an impact, I jump at! Second of all, I really want to deliver a powerful message that actually makes people think. So, I really thought long and hard about what to share.

I wasn’t feeling compelled to share the basics because we all already know what to do…the issue lies in the execution of the things. Why is it hard to actually do the things and create consistency? I think it’s because of our unrealistic expectations of what we “should” do! We have some ideal of perfection that we aren’t living up to, so instead of celebrating progress, we get discouraged that we aren’t enough.

So, my speech was about the Should Trap. Our “shoulds” that are on repeat in our minds are really good indications of areas where we might be holding on to ideals of perfection. Maybe those are worth exploring. We can pause, notice the pattern, reflect on our expectations and begin to create a new set of standards and a new inner dialogue.

Do you should all over yourself with relation to food? “I should eat healthier…I should have dinner ready on time every night….I should drink more water…”, etc.

Or maybe with exercise? “I should workout more…I should use that gym membership…I should make fitness more of a priority…”

What about your social life? “I should get out more…I should get fun plans on the calendar…I should prioritize time with friends.”

Shoulds make us feel negative, guilty, shameful, and less than. Shoulds stack up and we end up with piles of should all over our life!

I invite you to explore some of your shoulds and see if you can identify the underlying belief that accompanies them. For example, “I should workout more” indicates that there is an ideal of a perfect amount of exercise that we are not measuring up to. I recommend spending some time here identifying that ideal and considering its impact on your mindset related to exercise, and further, your overall mental health.

My speech was about how we can take those shoulds and turn them into empowering statements that inspire action so that we can take control over our thoughts, then our actions, thus resulting in improved overall health and wellbeing. I’m thinking of creating a little virtual workshop for this content. I’d love to hear your thoughts…do you think you “should” sign up? Ha ha…